How not to day tour with a toddler

We did a little day tour to Brighton over the Christmas break and although it was very pretty and we all had a great day I thought I'd share my tips on 'how not to day tour with a toddler' based on our fabulous little day trip:

• Get your toddler to wake at 4.30 am (Ok clearly we did not do this by choice. This is holy as hell early even for him).
• No problemo. Get your toddler to sleep in the car on the way. But then make sure he wakes up after 20 minutes. (F. It’s going to be a long day. Oh and no, we did not wake him up, again, but just rolling with the punches at this stage.)
• Ensure toddler is grumpy when he wakes.
• Now, mummy should go ahead and buy every toy under the sun in a desperate attempt to keep the kid happy and entertained (massive cheat method – sure to win some parent of the year awards woo).
• Walk around looking for restaurants while on the phone trying to find a restaurant that will take 5 people with a kid. (Why do I never listen to my own advice and actually get organised?!)
• End up at Pizza Express.
• Give in to the truth that you’ve always known but have been denying for the last 18 months. Pizza Express is now your life. And will be for probably the next 15 years.  
• Stare in awe at the amazeballs super parents at the table next to you dealing with four kids under four, the youngest being twins of 6 months while they sit and eat a fine old meal while having a chat with a glass of wine.
• Do tend to a bit of shop-hopping on the way back to the car and make the most wonderful purchase of a beautiful new winter coat (inspired most likely by the two glasses of wine consumed at Pizza Express). 
• Finish the day being more tired than your kid. (Honestly, how does he not get tired?)
• Sit back and realise through all the chaos he's a bloody little legend, cranky pants and all. 

Holidays... its child's play

I guess like most toddlers Austin can be a wee bit fussy when it comes to eating, sleeping, routine…,you know, just about everything. And this can make going on holidays a bit of a pain in the arse. But a few family vacays down, I think (and I hope) that we’re starting to get the hang of things…. well at least to minimise the arsieness and maximise the loveliness of holidaying with a toddler. (Yep, behind the smiling photos is a cranky toddler just waiting to BREAK OUT). 

We were pretty lucky on this trip down to East Dean to be staying in a beautiful home (hello lovely exploring photos above), we had Pat’s parents with us (wooo an extra set of hands) and we were in England so I could do a big ol supermarket shop with all of Austin’s favourites.

But for the rest of the time we’ve learnt holidaying can take some military style precision and planning (am I right mums?). I’m sure there are some people in the world who can just lug off their kids anywhere and they just sit around smiling and laughing… but after one or two (errm or 3) trial runs we’ve started to work out what works for us.

1.     First things first… pack pretty much everything… and then add the kitchen sink. If you have almost everything normal around you, your kid will never know you’ve left home, right?

2.     Ok scrap point 1, don’t pack everything, just pack the essentials. And by essentials I mean… just about everything and the kitchen sink. Ha. Bedding and sheets. Bath toys. Some of his fave toys. Oh and before bed toys and books. Eating utensils and cutlery. And bibs. And then add the rest of his riff raff… ok, the suitcase is pretty full by now.

3.    Now for all of the stuff that won’t fit in the case… just beg, borrow or steal. Ok that’s bad advice. Don’t steal. You could beg or borrow though. Or better still, check if they have them at your hotel/accommodation. A high chair is a massive MUST for us. The kid won’t eat without it. Portacot – also pretty damn critical. The kids gotta sleep. And if there’s one already at the accom then that’s one less thing to lug around. Nappies and baby wipes. They take up sooooo much room. Shall we go shopping when we get there? Maybe one or two things for mum too?

4.     And then of course there is the toddler foooood. I really do envy peoples kids who will pretty much eat anything, anywhere. We’ve started packing as many snacks, and pre-packaged foods that will get through customs (legally, of course) as possible. If the only thing he’s going to eat is a damn apple flavoured cracker then that’s a massive WIN for us.

5.     And we can’t forget all of the usual suspects: pyjamas, singlets, pants, tops, jumpers, bathers (please, SUMMER HOLIDAY next??) toothbrush, shoes, socks, comfy pants…

So ok, what have I forgotten? I’m sure I’ve forgotten something… hmmm what is it?!. Don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll remember…. as soon as we’ve arrived at our next holiday destination. 

Transport yourself

So I had wanted to go to the Natural History Museum. Next door is the Science Museum, both seem to have kid friendly displays, and there is also an ice skate rink out front at the moment. Sounds awesome, right? Right! That’s what we thought. Until we looked at how to get there, and the journey was going to take 1.02 hours in peak traffic. Yikes! Ok, time to rethink plans for our day.

After some searching online and umming and aaahing we decided on the London Museum of Transport.

Arriving we looked around unsure where to go and followed another group up a ramp, and jumped in the lift. Pretty ordinary looking lift but BOOM, this lift has been rigged with sound effects and OH MY GOODNESS where the lift shows what level we are going to it is showing that we are going back in time!!! All the way back to 1820. Ok, ok, I think this is all part of the museum but AWESOME, the mood has been set, this is not going to be some ho hum boring museum, this is going to be FUN.

The lift doors open. Did I mention that Austin is obsessed with cars and pretty much anything with wheels? Um, yep. This small guy just died and went to heavennnnnnn.

The first level was all old horse drawn carriages, and wow I was blown away by how HUGE they were. Austin loved looking at these but more so the small intricate models of them. Moving through to the next level there was a full train carriage placed on display from the 1800’s and then… we couldn’t wait any longer because Austin had spotted the next level down…. The mother load of train carriages and displays!

So we descend the stairs to this magical land of trains, and carts and carriages, and pass a mezzanine and continue descending…and before we have a chance to blink an eye at this wonderful display of history and how our ancestors travelled…. Austin, lets call him eagle eye Austin, has spotted the kids area, that’s right I said the KIDS AREAAAAAAAAA. And the piece da resistance of the kids area is the model train set. Now let me just clarify, yes this train set is great, even awesome but really it is just a large train set, you know like twice the size of a train set you might have at home. Directly next to this is a full scale play area, with life size buses and cars to play in, interactive toys, things to climb, things to look at, things to touch and pull and….. you get the idea.

Austin will not move from this train set. We point to the kids area. We try to get him to look at the fuuuuun. To be fair, to him this is the most ultimate train set in the whole entire world. I get it , I get it. I don’t want to spoil his fun. I just want him to realise there is soooo much more to see. It’s cool. We’re cool. Lets just chill here for a while. So we do. And for a bit longer. And different kids come and go. There are small scuffles over who is touching what train, who has something to push, where someone’s carriage went. There are mums with lunches and families tag teaming toilet trips. There are little boys picking their noses. And girls sitting grumpily. And still we stay.

There is literally about 25 full size trains, carts, buggies, buses and all sorts of modes of transport to explore on this level. But he will not budge. Hey, at least he is having fun, right?

We try a diversion tactic, lets just pick him up and run to the next exhibit and he’ll love it so much he’ll completely forget. We go covert styles, picking him up unawares and literally making a dash for it. He is kicking, he is screaming. He is so unimpressed with the full size train carriage in the next exhibit. He is trying to find his way back to the model train set.

We could go back again, but then we would have to do the break away another time and unlike before he is now getting tired, and overwhelmed and over stimulated. He is deteriorating. There has been waaaay too much fun and excitement in a short amount of time.

We are glad our tickets are for a full year (that's right, ticket prices are actually for year round entry). There will be plenty to see next time we come back. You know, like, the whole main level. We make a dash for the exit, it’s touch and go. There is a god damn shop on the way out. (Mind you full of fabulous toys, and amazing homewares – homewares, I know, who would’ve thunk it). We buy a James train and I tell pat to go, go, go. The woman behind the counter looks like this is all too familiar.

And we are out. Wow. Extreme highs, extreme lows. You know, normal life with a child. As much as things got a little out of hand at the end this was an awesome museum to visit. And really a lot of the drama was due to tiredness, so all we need to do is head back in the morning next time and you know, I’m sure it will go perfectly. Will let y’all know!

Easy as Airbnb

Airbnb had to be the best choice for holiday accom in Brussels. Staying with a toddler in a hotel room would have been a struggle to say the least. Seriously how do people do it? Austin is a fussy eater to begin with, so purchasing all of his meals out would not go down very well. Then there's the lack of space. And theeen when he goes to sleep at night, I guess we'd just have to hope he sleeps real heavily, or sit in silence? eek!

The airbnb we picked was right near the Grand Place where all of the beautiful old buildings are and walking distance to all the fun places (the comic book museum - hello Smurfs and Tin Tin, the Manneken Pis and beautiful views from Le Monts des Arts). And so perfect for o'ding on cheese and hams while tucked away in our apartment with Austin sleeping at night.

I think this will be the way to do the rest of Europe, more exploring here we come.  

Planes vs Trains

Planes vs trains? We say trains win! Obviously there is a limit on your travel distance for this… but when it is a reasonable distance, oh boy, the train wins HANDS DOWN!

We found the train to be so awesome because it is so less stressful than getting a plane. There is no 2 hour minimum check in time, no baggage restrictions, (what are you carrying on, what are you checking-in, how heavy are your bags… nope they don’t care!), security is efficient but not intense (they let Austin sleep through security and passport checks in the pram, thankyou, thankyou, thankyou) and then you just walk up to the train literally 10 minutes before it departs, jump on and voila off you go.

And that’s just the beginning of the benefits… On the train seats have more room, there are only 2 seats on each side so you can freely get up and down and walk down to the food cart, and you can fit baby on your lap with the tray table down, I know whhhaaaaat! Baby can sit there and watch the world whizz by and you avoid the trauma of take-off and landing (ears popping, ears popping, EARS POPPING WAAAAHHHHH).

And then when you get to your destination (generally) you’re pretty much smack bang in the middle of the city and just have to get to your accommodation. No hour taxi rides from airports and passport lines that go forever and ever and everrrrrrrr. Nope. Just stroll on out. Excellent.

So as you can probably tell, by the time we got to Brussells we were pretty damn chuffed with ourselves. And with the addition of a purchase of mini trucks from St Pancras station before we left the train ride was as smooth as a baby’s bottom (pun intended – dad joke, I know!)

So planes and trains aside… when we were in Brussels we stayed in the old part of town, which was right near the Grand Place, perfection. Before we left if we told people we were going to Brussels they would ask ‘oh and are you going to Bruge? Bruge is so pretty!’. So we weren’t expecting well, anything much exciting in Brussels but it was soo pretty. (Who needs Bruge, right?)

Brussels seems to be a city built on their passion for food, and not just any foods, pretty much the best foods in the world. Chocolate. Fries. Waffles. Crepes. Yes, yes and yes. So we dived in to local culture ie. food, as any respectful tourist would, and had a ball of a holiday. 

A day fit for a prince

I LOVE doing all of the big touristy stuff, something about it just feels SO holiday-sy. And everyone loves holidays. Everything is exciting and new on holidays. On holidays you get to eat out ALL THE TIME, you have nice soft pillows and fresh sheets every day. SO GOOD! So even though pretty much none of those things apply to us (the eating out all the time, the soft pillows and fresh sheets, nawwww) when we go and do the tourist route it feels as exciting as if we ARE on holidays.

So on this fine sunny day (18 in London, A-MAH-ZING) Buckingham Palace and Hyde Park were on our must do list. First stop was Buckingham Palace and Austin was dying to get out of the pram. And once he was out he was smiling, and laughing and having SO much fun…. and this had NOTHING to do with the palace, the guards or the beautiful grand gates. There was a street cleaner going past. A STREET CLEANER! How FREAKING EXCITING! It really is hilarious the things kids find exciting. 

It was great to see the palace in all of its grand glory. I wouldn't say it's the best tourist spot in London but it is easy enough to go by, get a tourist snap and just keep on going. A changing of the guard would have added a bit more of a thrill to the situation, but in the winter months the changing of the guard is every second day… and we were there on the first day. Damn.  

So to Hyde park next and to let Austin have his run around. To get there from the palace it’s a short stroll through Green park.  And wow there were yellow leaves everywhere. London is SO pretty in Autumn - green and gold and red dripping from the trees and pools of colour floating over the grass. So we just had to stop and have a play around, it was too damn tempting not to.

And we couldn’t really just walk past the Lodge Café in Hydpe Park corner without a pit stop either. I cannot recommend this place more. The coffee was great, the chocolate croissant was to DIE FOR and they have so many other delicious treats and pastries (a high level of restraint was used to not go NUTS on the macaroons).

So FINALLY after all of our stopping and starting we made it to Hyde Park. Which was really just more park. VERY pretty, but more park. And we already ‘parked’ at Green Park. So after the long journey to get there and with a pooped toddler, we had a bit of look around and then headed off home. 

A visit to Fenton House (how lovely)

What's living in London if you haven't visited a manor house? Yep, it's not living, well anyway, that's what I thought. We almost didn't make it as we were dog tired from being up all night with a teething toddler but it was either sitting at home being tired and miserable and annoying each other or getting up and making the most of the day (tired or not). So off we went to Fenton House, the one beautiful manor house I found that wasn't forever away (located in North London), that looked nice and grand with some beautiful gardens.

The website says that the garden is big 'by London standards', well that is quite the understatement. It's definitely not a grand estate with fields and fields, but for central London I would call this BIG GARDENS. They were super pretty, with little pockets and different areas, manicured lawns and an apple orchard. Lots of fun for Austin to run up and around. 

The inside of the house has been kept as it would've been about 100 years ago, with lots of breakables and antiques (hands off baby!) so we put Austin in the baby bjorn, just to be safe. The inside of the house is probably not super interesting for a kid, more so for mum and dad, but what the hell we were there so we were going to have a look anyways. We had really, really wanted to see the supposed fantastic view of the city from the roof...but alas... it wasn't open when we went. Well, guess we will just have to find some more places to go and check out the views, damn. 

A sick baby overseas

Sicily was absoloutely fabu-tabulous! But it was also hard work, especially when Austin started acting up - in a BIG way. For the first few days we weren't sure what was going on, and just put it down to lack of sleep, but when he stood in the lounge room screaming uncontrollably and nothing we did was able to stop him we knew something was up.

So here is a list for you of what not to do with a sick toddler overseas:

1. Just presume the your child is acting CRAZY because they are sleep deprived (insert late night flights, early morning starts, back to back activities, change of scenery, cot in new area, etc etc etc)

2. Start doubting yourself BIG TIME. There are a few small moments as parents that you sit back and think wow, we’ve nailed this parenting thing! (SMALL MOMENTS PEOPLE, this doesn’t happen often!) And then you have moments when all you can think is what in the world are we doing wrong? Everything? Surely? We must be the worst parents in the world! This was definitely one of those moments. 

3. When you figure out (finally) that something is up, don’t organize a doctor during the day because, you know, that would just be waaaaay to convenient. Wait until the evening for your child to have another screaming fit THEN decide that you should probably do something about it.

4. Don’t worry about turning on data roaming, having the address of where you’re staying written down, knowing how to order a taxi in Italian… let alone know where a local doctor or English speaking health professional is.

5. Forget all the kids toys in the dash to the local hospital (where the only bambino doctors are – a bit dramatic I know, but that’s where we were instructed to go for a general doctor)

6. Cry when your kid has a blood test….oh my THE TEARS, THE TEARS. Oh yeah, and then there were his tears too.

7. Just sit back and do nothing…and let your mind get the better of you of what might be wrong with your kid. So glad this is the one thing we did not do! Although it meant a two hour wait at 11pm at night surrounded by all the screaming bambino’s at del pronto soccorso, after all the drama it was just a viral infection (PHEW) and at least we could relax knowing it was nothing serious. 

Also, side note - bubbles are the best thing in the world to cheer up a sickly toddler!

Ciao bambino

Sicily – the land of nutella and pizza. So much for a beach diet. Beach diets are non existant in Italy! And so is fake tan – as I learnt rocking up pale and need of some bronzer. What else happens in Italy? Every nonna loves the bambino, the food is local and fresh, and the coffee is soooo good (yes please, yes please, yes please, give me all your coffees!)

We barely scratched the surface of what Sicily has to offer, we mostly had beach and relaxing time, and I’m pretty, pretty sure there is much more to do and see. Just down the road there were beautiful castle-esque villas that I was just dying to get in to, but with a sleep-deprived toddler from doing night flights we did our best.

If I’m being really honest, we went to Sicily mostly for the weather, but once we got there we just wanted to get in to all that Sicily has to offer. It’s funny how when you get to a destination with no local language skills it only takes a few days to get in to the swing of things. I’ve being si’ing and grazie’ing my local English coffee man since getting home - awkward.

I wanna go back, I wanna go back, I wanna go back. Ok, my tantrum is not setting a good example for the son. But Sicily was damn good. 

Baby towers over London

What we learnt on our visit to Tower Bridge:

1.     London Bridge is not Tower Bridge

2.     Coffee is served scorching hot in London

3.     Pedestrian crossings really have no rhyme or reason – they are all red or all green and no drummer man so it's best not to get distracted at the stop sign

4.     Don’t wing it on the bus system – this is probably just normal person common sense but let’s just include this on the list anyway

5.     The Lawn (under The Tower Hotel) serves the most delicious mojito’s with disputably the best view of The Tower Bridge and the sparsest crowds on the strip